 |
 |
|
» 20 years old |
 |
|
%%buddy list%% |
|
|
|
|
|
» 20 years old |
|
|
|
%%buddy list%% |
 |
|
And should I fall from grace here with you Will you leave me too?...Marg Movie last night was fun. The Perfect Score was funny.(plus it's got a moral! Don't cheat your way through college, kids!) Just came back from Lost in Translation with my mom. Very good. If anyone knows the name of the song Bill Murray was singing, please tell me. My mom would like to know. I think it's some 80s song. DJ says I have a problem with intimacy. Just like him to say something like that. I guess I do. I mean, when I think about how much I like someone and how much I want to be with them, what I would tell them, I'm not afraid. It just seems when I'm there. With them. I don't know. It's not as if I go through life not really caring for anyone. It's not as if I don't care for the person. I just have my own ways of showing it. I have two theories on this lack of intimacy problem. 1. I had too much love as a child. 2. Everytime I get intimate or more open with a boyfriend, it seems to end. For instance, Peter, my first boyfriend. I was pretty shy in the begginning. Afterall, he was my first boyfriend. I didn't really know how to act. But as soon as I became more loving (after I dumped him and then got back together with him the next day because I realized I still liked him) he dumped me. Now that isn't very fair, now is it. Same with Danny, I acted loving and what did I get...well a pretty eventful summer and while it's funny now that I look back on it now, it wasn't so funny then. Ok, well maybe just a little. So I think this intimacy problem I have is a mix of both. Because I've never really been the type of person to tell a person how much I love them even if it's a great deal. Even with my parents I'm not the kind of person who says I love you a lot to them. They know I do. And they give me tons of love back, but I've just never been able to return it? I guess it's hard to analyze yourself. I would need someone else's perspective. Probably not Juj or Nora's although they're welcome to express their opinion but I don't think they really see what I'm talking about because they don't see me when I'm alone with my parents or with DJ. Well neither do anyone else, but with Juj and Nora, I don't really have a problem with intimacy. Oh well. It's not a big problem. Really. It's just something to think about. I just went to azlyrics to look up this smashing pumpkins song that Dan told me about. Then as soon as I got there I realized I didn't even remember the name of it. Has this ever happened to you? |